Mystery of Frank

At some point this afternoon Frank Fish Brooks dissappeared. He was last spotted in his tank around 1pm this afternoon. The whereabouts of Frank are still inconclusive.

Frank was a good fish. He swam in his tank with his pseudo girlfriend Lola. Frank was rescued from Wal-Mart in July of 2007. He was constantly tormented by the pink neon fish Lola. Lola would chase Frank and bite at his fins.

There are multiple suspects in the disappearance of Frank.

1. Emma - Emma Feline Brooks had been looking with sneaky eyes at our fish tank. She has been caught with her paws in the tank. At one point, we have seen her attempt to drink the water. Her breath smells of an unpleasant tuna type odor.

2. Lola - Lola has lived with Frank for the last seven months. She's been chasing and tormenting him. Today Frank was spotted trapped under the water filter. Could this have been a murder attempt. Lola's belly is larger looking than normal.

The evidence is inconclusive at this point, but as more facts develop in this case I will keep everyone posted. However, one thing is for certain: Frank is missing and we will not rest until he is put to rest. No fish should die without a proper burial at sea.

Ouch

Jen and our neighbor Jen took advantage of the free personal trainer service offered at our apartment's gym. The girls went through 40 minutes of different exercises, only to come home and barely be able to walk up stairs. The have signed up for this abuse, indefinitely, twice a week.

I found their pain and lack of climbing mobility mildly entertaining, until today. Today Nathan (Jen's husband) and I went for a five mile run. Unfortunately, now my right quad feels like hers and I too am struggling. I guess that's the price of exercise.

Last night we had our game night with a few friends. We played a dvd game called shout about movies/music. It was really cool, and the dvd kept score for you. We played guys versus girls and it was pretty much a testosterone massacre. I guess guys are better with the useless knowledge.

Today we attempted to go to a large Methodist church but got lost on our way. We ended up going to a church we had visited before. We got there 15 minutes late and left about 10 minutes early. We stayed for an hour and 10 minutes. If you can do the math, you can realize while we weren't there the whole time. Next week, it's attempt number two for the Methodist church.

Tomorrow it's back to work after an abbreviated weekend. I have a feeling I'm going to stop volunteering for extra days the warmer it gets. I'm ready to get in some frisbee golf, hiking, bicycling, and pool lounging as the spring draws near.

Game Time

We've made it through another week and now it's finally time for the weekend. Emma is back home and recovering from her surgery. She's been lying around on the electric blanket a lot lately.

Last night we watched Good Luck Chuck, or at least most of it with the neighbors. We then turned on Gladiotor, which is truly one of the great American films. No better way to start off your weekend than with some killin'.

Tonight we're having a few people over to play games. Nothing too exciting, but having some pasta and games. Should be pretty fun. Not sure what we'll be playing, but I don't think it will be Porno Password, suggested by Ryan.

I went back and got my hair fixed on Thursday by a different stylist. She evened it up and everything is back in place. I saw the girl who cut it the day before. It was kind of like when you see someone you just broke up with and don't know what to say to them. So, I did what anyone in my position would do. I didn't say anything, pretended like I didn't see her, and sat in the waiting chairs texting and not making eye contact. It's so great to be an adult like that.

Bed Head

There are a few things in life I don't like doing for whatever reason or another. I don't like going to the dentist because of the sounds, and I don't like getting my hair cut. I don't know why, but since I was about 12 I have never been thrilled about having to get my hair cut. However, yesterday reaffirmed my despise of the hair salon.

Before I go in to that story, let me give you a brief hair timeline of myself.

Age 3 - 10 - Hair parted to the side, very little bangs, classic little boy hair cut

Age 11-14 - Bowl cut, or some variation of it. yes I was a tragic victim to this hairstyle.

Age 15 - 16 - Long shaggy hair - known to some as "frat hair"

Age 16 - 20 - The front spike/messed up look. Lots of product was consumed in those years.

Age 21 -22 - Got hair cut short, almost a shaggy buzz cut and then revisited the spike

Age 22 - Got hair cut short in May, did not get another hair cut until December.

Age 22-24 - Have had different variations between the "frat hair" and your normal parted cut with front bangs.

So that's my hair history. Yesterday, I walk in the salon, to a stylist that has cut Jen's hair but not mine. I tell her "I want it cut shorter, and I want a new style." Keep in mind hairdresser is slightly "punk rock" looking in appearance.

She asked if I want it spiked - "no, been there done that, I say."

She then proceeds to cut and cut and thin and cut and cut. Three inches was cut off plus not to mention how much she thinned it out. I'm okay with all of this it was kind of bushy looking.

At this point I'm thinking I'm gonna have a great new hairstyle. So then the cutting subsides and the product comes off the shelf. Some sort of spray wax. I'm no stranger to hair product so this was not an issue for me.

She proceeds to do something to my hair that I still don't know what happened. Messing and molding and smooshing my bangs flat against my forehead in some look that insighted I must have tattoos and scars. Basically, not the look I generally portray in my boat shoes and polo shirts.

So I go home thinking I can wash this junk out of my hair and fix it. I wash out most (not all) of this wax stuff and my hair is just funny looking. Uneven and jagged. I realize I'm a victim of salon sheering.

I think to myself maybe this will be better in the morning. This morning I thoroughly shampoo and attempt to style my hair. Once again I still feel remnants of the spray wax. I look up close in the mirror. The left side of my bans are 3 inches longer than the right side. So I go to sweep my hair over to the side as normal, and find that I have lop-sided bangs. Not just a little, but there is no fixing this. I'm obviously not going to style my hair like she had it for work, so I bust out some product and do the best I can. Needless to say, I'm still not thrilled.

I'm going back tonight to a different stylist to get things evened out. What is bad is the girl that cut my hair was super nice. I hope she isn't there because I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I was on the verge of shaving my head. Hopefully I can get the situation taken care of and resolved.

Criminal Part 2

This morning after getting ready for work curiosity got the best of me.

I thought to myself, what if they are going to arrest me? The post card I received stated that they would be coming to your home, office, or wherever they could find you and taking you off to jail.

I'm not the type of person who would do well in prison. I don't eat after people, I don't like shared spaces, I'm not much on a uniform, and I'm certainly not up for any of the number of things I've heard go on behind bars.

Therefore, I decide to call and get to the bottom of this dilemma.

So I call the Austin County municipal court and find out that the post-card is not a hoax and is very real. They ask me the name on the card and they ask me my birthday. After what seemed like an eternity of being on hold I was informed that I infact was not the criminal they were searching.

Apparently someone in their office found my address and mailed the post-card assuming there is only one Steven Brooks in US. They proceeded to ask if I knew this person and I stated that I did not know him, nor had he ever lived here. Finally, after re-confirming I would not be sent to prison, they told me I could disregard the orange post-card.

I sigh of relief came over me, despite the fact that I didn't do anything in the first place. So I can rest at ease in my home and not behind those iron bars.

Apparently I'm a criminal

I was going to blog on the importance of the Karate Kid to the American society and how it is truly a classic film. However, a change of events this afternoon have post-poned (not canceled, Ryan) my post.

This afternoon I came home and me and Jen got ready to go to the gym. I ran down to the mailbox to check our mail before we went. The usual stuff, a couple bills, wedding invitation, junk, and this mysterious orange postcard.

I know you are thinking, a postcard, must be junk.

Well, this particular postcard addressed to Steven Lee Brooks (not my middle name) was to inform me their was a warrant out for my arrest. Yes, I'm wanting in 10 counties in Texas and they will not rest until I am apprehended. This is part of their warrant round-up program. Lucky me.

Let's look at what's wrong with this picture.
1. I've never been to Texas. I kind of wanted to visit two of my friends that live there, but apparently that would not be safe for my well-being at this time
2. I've not committed any crimes. I'm not a criminal, maybe a speeder, but definitely not a hardened criminal with reason for my arrest.
3. Has anyone ever heard of a constable? Because this notice was sent from a constable in Texas.

Needless to say it looks like a scam, because they don't have my name right and they will only accept payments by form of credit card. I plan on calling tomorrow and seeing if this is even a real place. So, as the old saying goes, Don't Mess with Texas.

On another note, our cat is getting spade and de-clawed on Wednesday, so we would appreciate it if everyone would keep her in their thoughts and prayers. Or to tell her in person you can find her on catbook - 2nd cousin to facebook.
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What’s so great about Knoxville?

We have met lots of people down here, and people from Alabama truly love Alabama. When we tell them that we plan on returning to Knoxville in a few years, we always get asked the same question.

What’s so great about Knoxville?

Besides the fact that it is our hometown, where our childhood friends and our families live, I have composed a list of what is so great about Knoxville

1. The University of Tennessee sports programs
2. The “old city” – in particular my favorite spot is Barleys Pizza
3. Fountain city duck pond
4. The Tennessee Theatre
5. Great Smoky Mountains National Park is 45 minutes away
6. Dollywood – oddly this really is a great attraction
7. Littons – famous burger place across from duck pond. Featured on ESPN
8. Victor Ashe Park – 18 holes of disc golf
9. Knoxville Golf Course – where else can you play nine holes for $8
10. Third Creek Greenway – the best trail in the city with great views of the TN river
11. Loui’s – family owned Italian restaurant
12. World’s Fair Site – The golden ball is a landmark in the quaint city
13. Market Square – free concerts, good atmosphere, and ice skating at Christmas
14. Calhoun’s on the river– Ask anyone from Tennessee about Calhouns bar b que

Wednesday Ramblings

Well, it's been one of those days. For the first time since we have lived here they have mentioned snow and Alabama in the same sentence. Generally, that means schools will be closing down, Lowe's has run out of battery operated space heaters, and the closest loaf of bread or gallon of milk is somewhere in Ohio. It's a nasty dreary day, cold sleeting and rather unpleasant to be outside looking at trucks in.

Speaking of trucks, apparently I've caused some sort of managerial problem at my office. I declined to work a certain day and the chain of events after created teleconferences and meetings. And one certain employee (we'll call him Napoleon to protect his identity) will hopefully be getting a lesson on communication in the work place.

The rest of the week should go by pretty quick. Tonight another hillarious episode of American Idol and Friday we get to eat dinner with Kendall in lovely Cullman, Alabama. Same place I got my speeding ticket. Then Saturday it's back to Knoxville for the weekend and a slight chance at seeing some snow.

Define Meeting

Tonight was the monthly staff meeting. Meetings at my work usually discuss the same topic each month, in new hopes of finding a way to make money. We go around the room in a round table discussion and throw out lots of ideas.

The advantage to the meeting is that we get to leave work an hour early and we have the option to eat dinner afterwards on the company. Tonight’s dining selection was Chuck E Cheese. I’ll refrain from my comments on that and let you read Laura’s blog at www.xanga.com/lauraannc.

So what is a meeting really; a friendly environment for ideas to be shared? Instructive criticisim on how to operate more efficiently? Or is it simply a way to appear to be doing more than we actually are. How often to ideas get implemented? In any company, there are the visionaries and the laborers. Somewhere between vision and end product, there is a gap in what happens.

I find that meetings hold employees capture for an hour and a half after work. At the conclusion you are back where you started and wondering what just happened. The best in when people have meetings to plan meetings. My last job was classic for this. Anyways, I spent my evening with co-workers before coming home to American Idol.

Is everyone in Alabama named Jennifer?

We have lived in Alabama for six months now and almost every female we have met is named Jennifer.

My wife is named Jennifer as well as two of our neighbors. Another friend that we hang out with is also named Jennifer. This morning at church I met another couple and guess what the girl's name was - you guessed it Jennifer.

What is the infatuation with this name. I kind of like the fact that I hang out with people that all have the same name. There is not pressure to remember there names. Once in high school, I was trying to impress some girl and called her the wrong name. I'm really bad with names, so nothing worse than meeting the neighbors and then not remembering their names.

Then you do that thing where you call them guy or buddy, or you just say Hey, and pause hoping they respond. Or you can ask the other neighbors what their names are, but you've probably forgot their names too. It's a vicious cycle.

Nothing is worse than being called hey neighbor. It's like I'm giving you an adjective title, however I'm not making the effort to learn your name.

I guess I will relish the fact that people down here, hear a name and stick with it. I've also met two Steven's, two Beth's and more Matt's than I can count on my hands.

Growing older but not up

With my 25th birthday just around the corner I realized that puts me about three years away from my high school reunion. I went to a moderately sized high school located in the suburbs. The reunion could be tragic or something out of a primetime sitcom.

First of let me say that I'm pumped for several reasons. I married a beautiful soon to be pharmacist; that means we'll be Mr. and Dr. Brooks. How awesome is that. Second, I won't have a 10 year old child to show pictures of at the reunion.

I only still talk to a handful of people from my graduating high school class. Therefore, I imagine I will be hanging out with them.

One of my friends is pumped about the reunion. He was in the band in high school and didn't have a very active dating life. However, four years later he married the head cheerleader. Not one of the cheerleaders that graduated and got big and lost their mojo. Nope, he married a skinny cheerleader and then got her pregnant. Emphasis on pregnant after married.

I hope to see lots of people that have done well with their lives. I know of several people that dropped a bunch of pounds that will be glad to have the tables turned on those that used to call them big. What I think is great is all the kids that probably got picked on, will be the ones with hot wives that run their own companies.

There are several people that probably made "colorful" decisions after high school. I suppose we'll find out if they are living in a van down by the river.

Donald Miller wrote that everyone should leave their home so that when they come back to it, they will appreciate it. Powell is definitely a town you need to leave so that you can realize it's charm. Of course, when I come back to town I mean Knoxville, probably the west part, and not the actual community that I grew up in.

There are many successful people that went to my high school. Some of them are nuclear engineers, insurance salesmen, scientist, in graduate school and doing a multitude of cool and interesting things.

I probably won't be one of these people since I want to be a stay at home dad and live off my sugar momma. Just kidding, well...kind of. I do plan on working, just not anything to time consuming, difficult, labor intensive, or on weekends.

College didn’t explain the “real world” very well

For the past year and half I have worked full time for the same company. I’ve worked in two different states, but at the end of the day I always draw the same conclusions.

Trying to explain to people what I do and why I had to have a degree to even get hired gets more and more confusing every day.

My current office is inside a store similar to a guitar center. It’s conveniently located beside the instruction rooms. This gives me the joyous opportunity to here butchered guitar versions of “Stairway to Heaven” as well as any Greenday song you care to think of. As if the guitar lessons were not enough on Thursdays there is trombone instruction. If you can imagine “Mary had a Little Lamb,” “Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star,” and “My Country tis of thee” all sounding exactly the same; you can put yourself into the musical hell I experience.

Everyone has peeves about their job. A certain task or phrase that you don’t care for. For me it’s people that demand a truck on the day of their move. Did they wake up this morning and say “I’m sick of this town I’m gonna go get a truck.” I doubt it. Moving isn’t something that just blindsides you, especially if it’s out of town or state.

So, the real world for me comes down to a few things. Checking my email compulsively at work, listening to bad instrument playing, being asked the same questions all the time, and explaining why despite a moving truck having large storage space in the box, you can't haul Mexicans in it.

What happened to Alf?

Those of us who grew up in the 80s, grew up with a role model, friend, and entertainment icon. Yes, Alf. But the real question is, where is Alf now?

He's not been featured on any of the "Where are they Now" programs and he's not been spotted in US weekly or People magazine. Did he simply go back to planet Melnac or is he walking among us today?

Alf was the craze of the 80s. Dolls and action figures ruled households and people would tune in weekly to see his latest adventures.

I think show business finally got to Alf. I think he had enough of the Hollywood scene and began seeking an ordinary life. I thing he may have moved to South Dakota. He's probably some sort of rancher and settled down with a nice country girl. He probably lives off the land and the occasional stray cat.

Or perhaps he is the lead singer in an underground rock band in Idaho waiting for his big break. He's kind of got those Bon Jovi like feathered bangs.

All these is simply speculation. If anyone has any information on the whereabouts of Alf, please keep us informed.

One day weekend's are not long enough

Here it is Sunday evening and the end of my weekend. I am working on Monday (technically my off day) do get some extra money to pay for the speeding ticket I got on my way home from Kendall's last month. 85 in a 70 seemed like the flow of traffic to me.

We went to see P.S. I Love you on Saturday with the neighbors. DEFINITELY a girl movie. However, it did have some shining moments of comedy produced by the character played by Harry Connick Jr. After the movie, we headed over to the Red Lobster. My tilapia tasted like the ocean it came out of, which was not the cornucopia of grilled fish I was hoping to experience.

This morning we went to a church that we will probably never visit again. Jen and I both felt the pastor was more concerned about putting on a production than giving a life relevant lesson. He was a little full of himself which we didn't care much for. After church we headed to the Cracker Barrell and had a great Brunch. After that it was just a lazy day, but I did get around to running three miles this afternoon.

All that's left for today is some Sunday night tv, apple strudel for dessert and maybe a Hannah Montana rerun.

Busy Weekend

It's Saturday and I'm being oh so very productive at work. I was actually covered up this morning but looks pretty slow the next couple of hours.

Jen and I are going with some friends to see a movie this afternoon. We're going to a matinee so that's a bonus, because of the cheaper prices. Then tonight we're heading to the Red Lobster for dinner.

Sunday we're heading to church and then to Cracker Barrell for brunch. Brunch is really my favorite of all the meals. It's like eating a lunch size portion of breakfast food. After that I'm putting on my house coat (yes I have a housecoat, I just need a pipe to go with it) and catching up on some much needed rest and relaxation.

So that's what's going on for us in the ham this weekend, more updates to follow.

Life in the Slow Lane

Me and Jen are back in Alabama, and back to the same old routine. Jen started back to school on Wednesday, so that means lots of studying and not a lot of free time. I always have free time because I'm not smart like her.

Usually she spends the afternoons with the cat, Emma. If you have never seen a cat treated like a person you need to spend a little time at our apartment. Our cat thinks it is a child.

We've worked out every day since we've been back, so we're getting '08 off to a healthy start. I read how much water I should be drinking today. It's something like ten 8oz glasses a day. I currently drink about 1/3 of that, so we'll so how the water consumption comes along.

Well, I guess I'll go back to watching HGTV now. There's a new episode of House Hunters on. Yes, I know if it is a new episode, yes I know that it is just wrong that I'm a guy and know about the HGTV lineup. Blame it on a lack of new television on other channels. So back to my exciting evening.

Why we should miss the 80s

What was so great that it came out of the 80s you may ask? I guess the holidays make you nostalgic for your childhood. Here are some things I miss about the 80s/ early 90s.

Ghost Busters – I had the ectomobile, a slimmer puppet and all the action figures.

Neon Spandex – Oh yeah, I would rock out the spandex under the denim shorts. Get that visual in your head right now.

Light Bright – which apparently came back about three years ago.

Bon Jovi – feathered bangs, “Living on a Prayer,” “You give Love a Bad name” need I say more

MC Hammer – Rapper turned preacher turned rapper. Can’t touch this.

Roos – Mom used to put my lunch money in the pocket of my shoes.

Trapper keeper – organization meets Velcro

The Karate Kid Trilogy – not to be confused with the fourth one they made with the girl

MacGyver – I still carry my swiss army knife

Resolutions

So it is the first day of 2007 and it is time to finish making my resolutions. The past few years I have actually been able to keep about half of my resolutions. So, here is what I'll be working on in 2008.

Attending Church: Hopefully now that we are settled in Alabama we can find a church and actually go a few weekends a month. We visited one church, and we liked it, then one Sunday we spent 2 hours at a service. To each his own about worship time, but my attention span cuts off after an hour and ten minutes.

Run a half marathon: I know this is a reachable goal because I have run three others. I'm wanting to get back in good shape and this is the best way I know how. Pick a goal, train, and reap the benefits. I'm shooting to run the Knoxville Half Marathon on March 30.

Cokes: If cokes were beer I'd probably be a drunk. I drink several a day. I think I'm going to try and cut back to one a day. Good bye big gulp 32oz fountain soda with extra cherry flavor shot from the gas station.

This blog: I don't really know if this will get read or if anyone will remotely care about anything I put on it. Maybe it can serve as a time killer between work emails for some people. Either way, for the time being I'm going to update it with random posts.